2009 was an interesting year. I have to admit, I will be a little relieved to see it end. That’s not to say it was all bad – we got engaged, adopted our kitten and sold our house. However, there was a lot of stress and negativity as well. Lots of ups and downs.
2010 will be great. Really, how can it not be? We will move into our new house and get married! Will also continue work on M’s company, getting ready for him to go out on his own. Granted, I still have to figure out what I am doing in terms of my own career path… but I’m working on that. Sort of.
My biggest goal for the next year is to be happier & more positive. I’m a bit cynical by nature, not to mention neurotic. Combine those two and basically you’re left with someone who’s afraid to be happy because they are convinced they will swiftly be proven wrong. Objectively, I know this is no way to live– what a waste of time and energy to feel that way. Particularly with everything going on right now – I should be enjoying the wedding planning process, rather than stressing about work, money and other silly details.
Speaking of the wedding: I am a huge wedding slacker. I really need to get on with booking a ceremony venue. Oops. Just one minor detail: we can’t find one! M had his heart set on an outdoor ceremony and it’s strangely difficult to find an outdoor venue that can accomodate 200-220 guests.
Plan B is an indoor ceremony with candlelight, flower petals, etc. It would be at 4 or 5pm (photos beforehand) and we could play up the romantic, evening feel. I think it could be quite elegant. However, I am sad that M might not get the one thing he really cared about. Er, that sounds bad; of course he cares about the wedding… but other details like flowers aren’t exactly his cup of tea. Or his mug of beer, rather.
I mentioned before that we’re working with a planner; from what I’ve gathered in my discussions with her, I suspect she’s used to the stereotypical Bridezilla. i.e.: very detail-oriented, knows exactly what she wants, pro-active planner… basically, the opposite of me. I don’t think she knows what to make of me.
It has occurred to me that I have become one of those girls that I used to hate. When M and I were still dating, I used to hear them complain about wedding planning. I used to think ‘Are you kidding me? You’re marrying the man you love. How bad can it be? Suck it up‘. And now, I have to say, I’m eating my words just a little bit
Don’t get me wrong: I am excited to marry M (so much so that I wish the wedding were sooner than September!). I know the wedding will be wonderful. I just wish someone could crawl into my head, take all of the ideas out, and translate them into my wedding. Then I’ll show up at the designated date, time and location. Is that so much to ask?